The art of relaxing during nap time

You know that moment? The one where you quietly walk downstairs...children asleep, house is quiet, victory is yours? You check your phone, promising yourself it will only be a quick glance, because you have so much to do. Then, it happens. They wake. And you swear it's only been 10 minutes...but really, you've gotten lost in the abyss that is your phone for THE WHOLE NAP TIME. And you try to justify...because in that time you read detailed instructions on how to crochet your children's faces onto pillow cases. Surely this is a skill that must be mastered. And yes, you will absolutely have time to make that doll house constructed of pipe cleaners (so eco-friendly!). And if you're not staring at your phone, you will spend half of nap time wandering around in circles planning what you will do to make every. moment. count. only to hear that dreaded cry and realize you are still thirsty, still hungry and are going on day 3 of no shower. So, if you are anything like me and need some direction, then read on. If not, I must become your friend so I can learn from your mommy unicorn brilliance.

How to Master the art of relaxation during nap time:

1. BEFORE you put your sleeping child down, please place your phone in a location that will not tempt you. Like your cupboard (it works!). It turns out I'm more like my baby than I realize. Can anyone say out of sight, out of mind?

2. Upon exiting child's room, assess basic needs. You really are more like your baby than you realize. You need someone there to tell you to EAT, go to the bathroom, bathe, or take a nap. Please, please, don't wait until later. There won't be a later (insert eye twitch).

3. Assuming you are well-fed, you may now choose from the following options-

-Nap- While this is the ultimate relaxation, it is a difficult choice. Similar to the phone, you will look up and feel like you've done nothing. But if you don't nap, you will ask "Whhhhyyy did I not nap when I had the chance???!!!"

-Bubble bath- Add a candle and it almost feels like you're cheating.

-Read a book or magazine- Many of us moms claim we don't have time to read a book, but really, if we put down our phones during nap time, we could read.

-Pray and journal-My personal favorite.

-Fill a mug with coffee or tea and go outside. Sit on your deck, breathe in the cool air. Read a book, pray..enjoy the silence! In the summer I love to bring my lunch and sit in the sun.

-Dedicate this time for a hobby or skill. I've been using nap time to teach myself how to play the guitar. Learn to knit, paint...something, anything!

-Give yourself a manicure/pedicure without the polishing. You'll feel pampered just to have filed your nails and exfoliated your feet! It's the little things.

-For those who aren't into baths, grab a cool bubbly drink (I like seltzer) and take a hot shower. There's something about the combination of steam and cold drink that make this feel like a vacation!

-Do a work out video-This feels like a huge indulgence!

If we want to teach our children to enjoy themselves without electronics, we will have to learn to do the same (no easy feat!). Electronics suck our time and leave us feeling often more drained. Put down that phone, turn off the tv and computer, and feel each moment of beautiful, blisful solitude.



-xoxo The mom next door

Welcome, Landon!

It was only a dream

It was a day much like today. Golden leaves hang like Christmas ornaments on the white birches outside my window. I wake effortlessly and rested. What times was it? It had to be at least 8 o'clock. Maybe even 9. I quickly walk down the hall to my baby's room. He has usually woken me by now. I look, in shock. Where his white crib once stood, rests an oak four poster bed. A matching dresser holds picture frames, soccer trophies...a worn jersey hangs on display. I dash to my eldest son's room to find a similar scene. Shades of navy and red cast a warm glow on the hardwood floor. Downstairs I find an immaculate home. Not a toy in sight...not a highchair, a swing or bouncy seat. I know this is my home. I see my children's faces on the wall as babies. But what I don't understand are the faces that look like my children. I see it in the eyes, in the wrinkle of the nose, the dimple of a cheek. These are my children. But they are grown. The house is so quiet it is deafening. No matter how hard I try, I hear no laughter, no squeals...no little feet padding down the hall. I am utterly and entirely, alone. I had imagined this moment. Even fantasized about it. I could go take a shower, a nap...maybe read a book. But all I wanted was to hold my babies. At that moment I would have given anything to read that story one more time to my toddler. I didn't need two hands to make my coffee. My hip felt empty and cold without my baby on it.

It is dark. It is 2am and I am exhausted. I hear a cry coming from the monitor on my bedside table. I race to my baby's room and scoop him up. I feel his warm and sweaty head against my chest. His chubby fingers twirl my hair. He noisily eats while gently kicking his little feet. I feels tears well in my eyes. Tonight, he is my baby. Tomorrow he may be grown. Tomorrow he may not need me. But tonight? I will fill his belly with love. I will hold him close and breathe in that sweetness that is only his. I will kiss him too many times. And with a dribble of milk on his chin, I will lay him warm and snuggly and content into his crib.

And when the sun rises, I will catch a small boy who yells "mama, I fly to you!" And we will read that book "just one more time". Breakfast will be messy and I'll still need just one more cup of coffee. And my boy will ask "I make you happy, mama?" all while making a giant mess. But this time, I'll remember that cool morning in November. The one where my babies were grown. So I'll squeeze them a little bit tighter and smile just a little bit sweeter and "yes baby, you make mama so happy". That was only a dream, but this...this IS the dream.

Theo's Birth Story

After a night of mild contractions, I woke up at 6am and knew this was the day. Will had gotten up early to go to the gym by our house. Fortunately, I caught him before he headed to work and told him to come home after he finished his workout. I continued the morning as normal-coffee and quiet time in the word before my little Henry wakes. I read a beautiful devotional that would later strengthen me during labor-His hand was on me from the beginning! After Henry woke and had breakfast, we snuggled and read the Bible together (our favorite morning activity!). Henry loves listening to Psalms, and I love reading them! We then headed out on the deck to play in the sunshine. Contractions continued about 10 minutes apart and were very tolerable. We played for a good hour before Will came home and joined in on the play. It felt like an extended weekend and I was loving every moment of our last day as a family of 3.

Around 12:30, Henry went down for his nap. I ate a bowl of cereal and headed out on the deck to enjoy more sunshine alone. I listened to my favorite album by Rend Collective Experiment while the contractions were 5 minutes apart and become stronger. The sky was blue and the wind was warm. I breathed in the warmth and enjoyed the contractions. I remember thinking it felt good-I was so grateful for the slow progression. After about an hour or so, Will and I decided I wanted a change of scenery. I remember checking my phone and seeing the date, 4/14, and had this surge of excitement. The Lord picked such a fun date. He knows how I love novelty dates (Will and I married on 8/08/08). It was like he was winking at me. We headed to our favorite hiking spot by our house. We were completely alone. All I could hear was the wind, birds chirping and the trees blowing in the wind. Contractions were around 4 minutes apart and were continuing to strengthen. I now needed the support of Will or a tree (sometimes both!) to breathe through a contraction. They still felt good. I loved every moment of this hike and couldn't believe the way the day was unfolding-exactly the way I had fantasized.



Around 3, the contractions moved to every 3 minutes. We reached that moment of trying to decide if we should go to the hospital. Contractions were painful but still very manageable. I thought if I had to ask it meant it wasn't time, but I also didn't want to be the woman to have a baby on the side of the road. Also, I was group B strep positive. Antibiotics must be administered 4 hours before delivery (how do you plan that one??). After some prayer, we decided it was time. We got in the car and drove to the hospital. The 30 minutes to the hospital felt like an hour. I sat in the back seat and got on all fours whenever a contraction hit. I remember being so grateful that there wasn't any traffic. We called the midwife to tell her we were on our way. We headed to the parking garage. I remember walking in, breathing through contractions and feeling eyes on me as though I was diseased. I asked Will if anyone had ever seen a laboring woman before. One woman yelled "epidural!" as we shuffled by. Another asked if I wanted a wheelchair. I yelled, "I got this!". She replied "you sure?".

The moment I walked in we ran into my midwife, Katie, who ushered us into a beautiful laboring room with big windows and a giant Jacuzzi that I eyed immediately. They checked me and found that I was 3 cm. I tried not to feel discouraged. I was given my antibiotics, which was a 30 minute process total, baby was monitored for 15 minutes and my bracelets were put on.

We all sat around laughing and joking between contractions. My nurse, Mia, was the sweetest woman. She reminded me of a girlfriend that I adore, and she made me feel so comfortable. Around 7pm, contractions really started to become painful. The joking stopped, and I got on the birth ball. Will would massage my back during each contraction. At 7pm, my midwife checked me to find I was 4 cm. I actually started to wonder if I could do this-not because the pain was unbearable, but because if THIS was what 4 cm felt like, how could I make it to 10? Will encouraged me that this wasn't a linear curve, and I could do the rest very quickly. I prayed he was right! At that point my midwife had to leave to be with another laboring woman at the birth center. She told me I could get into the Jacuzzi (we waited so as to not slow down labor). The Jacuzzi was HEAVEN. My body was weightless. I proceeded to go back and forth between the Jacuzzi and shower. I noted contractions were more painful out of the Jacuzzi. I just couldn't stay in the same spot for too long. Will and I were alone for most of the next couple of hours, with the exception of Mia who would come and monitor baby every once in awhile for a minute or so. But I barely noticed her. I remember as time went on, I didn't want Will to leave my side. Though I hadn't had a natural labor before, Will seemed to be an expert at supporting me. He said very little between contractions, and only used words of encouragement when a contraction came. He offered water, chicken broth and Ginger Ale to me regularly to keep me hydrated.

At around 9pm, I remember thinking and telling Will I couldn't continue on. I asked to be checked. Will asked me to go for one more hour regardless of how dilated I was. I agreed. At that moment, I was so grateful that Will was being an advocate for what he knew I wanted so deeply-a natural childbirth. Before I was checked, I collapsed on the bed and could no longer move. My body began to push. It was an incredible feeling. I realized that without me doing a thing, this baby would be born. I was checked at 9:10 and was 9cm. They called my midwife to tell her to come. I lay on my side, unable to move as my body continued to push. My midwife ran into the room, threw gloves on, and with the help of my nurse, flipped me onto my back. I began to help my body push. I LOVED pushing and I felt very little pain. After about 7 minutes, my sweet child was born. I held him on my chest and sang to him the songs I sing to Henry every night before bed. He immediately stopped crying. It was the most precious moment. The hospital staff was almost none existent as Will and I bonded with Theo. They didn't even come near to clean him off. After about an hour, Mia asked if I would like him cleaned. I remember thinking how wonderful and non obtrusive everyone was being. When it was time to move to our sweet, they bundled Theo and placed him in his bed for Will to proudly wheel to our recovery room. I pressed a button on the wall that played lullaby music throughout the entire hospital-signaling a child had been born.



While the end of labor is the most intense, for me, I so vividly remember each moment leading up to the delivery of Theo. I remember each face, the words spoken...while hazy, it was exhilarating. I am so grateful to God that he was in the details of day. Each member of my birthing team was supportive, kind, and loving. I felt pampered and so well cared for. It really was the perfect experience.

Baby Love

Cut the crab out

"It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife." Proverbs 22:19

Are you longing for an amazing marriage? The kind that others envy? Then ladies, lets's cut the crab out.

I've always thought that because I am a woman, I could get away with just a bit more sass. My words could be just a bit more cutting. I have no idea why I bought into this worldly lie. We've all seen the movie with the token wife whose husband is "whipped". We all nervously laugh and think to ourselves "I'm so glad I'm not THAT wife". But deep down inside, we all have a little of her in us. She wants to get out. Like, when your husband does something that "he should have known better!"

And there are seasons, the Lord knows there are seasons. I call my current season the "ponytail" season. I am dog tired. I've been up all night. But that doesn’t justify anything. My tiny humans get so much of my sparkle sometimes that by the time hubby gets home it's all used up. How wrong is that?

It's fed to us constantly: neglect your home, neglect your husband...these babies grow up too fast to do anything other than be in their presence! And at the end of the day we have messy homes, supposedly happy children and not so wonderful marriages.

Now, I'm not saying a clean house is the key to a happy marriage (though, a few men might argue!). My dear husband comes home to a messy house more often than a clean one. He knows it's because I'm doing this mom thing and he gives me so much grace. What I am saying is we've got it backwards. Who are we serving first? So often it is my children, God, my husband...with periodic switching of the last two. That, my dear friends, is so wrong. My seconds are so often served to those who deserve my first fruits.

We are given to our husband's to be their helpers. It’s so easy for me to lose sight of this in the name of “being the best mommy.” Too often my words singe and my actions are lackluster. But my little lambs will benefit far beyond what I could imagine when they see me putting my Lord and my husband (their daddy!) first. And even better when I get them involved! My little one finds such glee in doing anything for his father (let's make this for daddy! time to clean up for daddy!). We don't have to sacrifice one for the other. In doing so, I show my children a healthy picture of marriage. I've heard it said "my mom taught me how to be a great mother...but not a great wife".

Solomon had it right when he said, "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1). We need to take back our households and give them to the Lord, the master architect. We must go to Him with the weakness of our flesh, for He is "able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy" (Jude 1:24). We must ask daily for wisdom and patience, as He "gives generously without finding fault" (James 1:5). Will you join with me in pledging to love our husbands with our words and to speak "what is helpful for building (our husbands) up according to their needs" (Ephesians 4:29)? Will you join with me in breathing life back into our marriages and our homes? Our children will thank us, and I'm pretty sure our husbands will, too.


"I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls..." (2 Chorinthians 12:15)