Cut the crab out

"It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife." Proverbs 22:19

Are you longing for an amazing marriage? The kind that others envy? Then ladies, lets's cut the crab out.

I've always thought that because I am a woman, I could get away with just a bit more sass. My words could be just a bit more cutting. I have no idea why I bought into this worldly lie. We've all seen the movie with the token wife whose husband is "whipped". We all nervously laugh and think to ourselves "I'm so glad I'm not THAT wife". But deep down inside, we all have a little of her in us. She wants to get out. Like, when your husband does something that "he should have known better!"

And there are seasons, the Lord knows there are seasons. I call my current season the "ponytail" season. I am dog tired. I've been up all night. But that doesn’t justify anything. My tiny humans get so much of my sparkle sometimes that by the time hubby gets home it's all used up. How wrong is that?

It's fed to us constantly: neglect your home, neglect your husband...these babies grow up too fast to do anything other than be in their presence! And at the end of the day we have messy homes, supposedly happy children and not so wonderful marriages.

Now, I'm not saying a clean house is the key to a happy marriage (though, a few men might argue!). My dear husband comes home to a messy house more often than a clean one. He knows it's because I'm doing this mom thing and he gives me so much grace. What I am saying is we've got it backwards. Who are we serving first? So often it is my children, God, my husband...with periodic switching of the last two. That, my dear friends, is so wrong. My seconds are so often served to those who deserve my first fruits.

We are given to our husband's to be their helpers. It’s so easy for me to lose sight of this in the name of “being the best mommy.” Too often my words singe and my actions are lackluster. But my little lambs will benefit far beyond what I could imagine when they see me putting my Lord and my husband (their daddy!) first. And even better when I get them involved! My little one finds such glee in doing anything for his father (let's make this for daddy! time to clean up for daddy!). We don't have to sacrifice one for the other. In doing so, I show my children a healthy picture of marriage. I've heard it said "my mom taught me how to be a great mother...but not a great wife".

Solomon had it right when he said, "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1). We need to take back our households and give them to the Lord, the master architect. We must go to Him with the weakness of our flesh, for He is "able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy" (Jude 1:24). We must ask daily for wisdom and patience, as He "gives generously without finding fault" (James 1:5). Will you join with me in pledging to love our husbands with our words and to speak "what is helpful for building (our husbands) up according to their needs" (Ephesians 4:29)? Will you join with me in breathing life back into our marriages and our homes? Our children will thank us, and I'm pretty sure our husbands will, too.


"I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls..." (2 Chorinthians 12:15)